Homesick

Okay, I've been here for over a month, so I thought I would just skip this part if it didn't happen by now. But, of course, it sneaks up on you, when you're vulnerable, just before you fall asleep. You're laying in your bed, not the one you've had for the past four years but a new one with sheets that smell and feel new regardless of how many times you wash them, and thinking about all you have to do. Then you wonder where you have to go in order to do those things, hope that they're on your map and you can do all of it before class. I'm homesick. I want a hug. A GOOD hug that only a good friend can give, the kind of friend who has seen you grow up. I miss Northwestern. No, I miss my NWC family, and how working 24-7 was so much more fun because I wasn't in charge. I'm in limbo now, I'm in charge but I still have a boss yet there are those who think I'm the one in charge. I don't know where I fit in this puzzle, God. However, I know that this is right, how I'm supposed to feel, and that God wants me here. I'm going to go cuddle with my teddy bear, I'll work more on this growing up bit tomorrow.